Nothing is new really. Taking some classes at City College. Now the stalkers will find me easier because im the only white girl there, darn. Going for private investigation. Listening to music and staring at all the scars on me. How depressing. My tattoos are remotely cancelling them out at least. I've started surfing again. I'm actually getting better this time. Singing to the music. Its late tonight, I've had trouble sleeping lately. I went down to south beach yesterday, I can honestly say I'd rather kill myself then ever end up like those psychotic people. They are all artistic maryters. But it did prove entertaining. *What you feel is what you are, and what you are is beautiful(Goo Goo Dolls - Slide)*

Songs you should check out that are new -

Anberlin - Breaking
Kings Of Leon - Notion
Love And Theft - Runaway
Trapt - Contagious
Lifehouse - Broken
Erin McCarley - Love Save The Empty

Songs you should check out that are old -

Fuel - Bittersweet
My Chemical Romance - Teenagers
Panic! At The Disco - Time To Dance
Duncan Sheik - Barely Breathing
Oasis - Wonderwall
The Sleeping - Don't Hold Back


Would I disappoint you? Listen to those songs. Your bound to like at least one. And tell me if you do.

Its said once you acknowledge the web of destiny that works around you, you can let go and float within it as life takes its course. I inadvertantly have become one of those people who see the web, but then try to figure out where its gonna take me instead of closing my eyes and letting it go. I find im racing towards the end of each cycle just to see if I am right about what is about to happen. My last entry is a sad excuse of a love letter from my soul to someone who left me completely and abruptly. I won't say I didn't love her because I think I really did. But i've looked back now because I keep getting these intense feelings for all these people I date and now I think ive backtracked a web and it makes more sense to me. I was very in love with the first person I dated. And it ended incorrectly. I don't think I ever got over that, now I think that maybe my love for that person has transferred over to the new people I meet and date. If I'm right that would be strange because its been a very long time and I've dated many people. But hm, something to think about indeed.

Why do I always end up where I don't belong? In the danger zone. Walking on a wire. With the wrong girl. It isn't that we aren't perfect for each other its that to keep her I have to work for it. Prove myself. Push myself to the limit and beyond. I've never been here before. I've never worked for anything. I don't put up with shit, I beat it down, and when I can't I run away. Move on. Well thats not gonna happen this time. No. I know I love her. I know its worth it. I'm not running anymore, and I've picked the perfect time to not run, because this is going to be the hardest relationship I've had. Shes changed me and shown me things I've never known, taught me what love is. Without her I would be nothing, worse then nothing, I'd be everything I never wanted to be. I want her, shes mine. Its just a matter of time. A matter of strength. I can do this, as long as shes willing to help me. Wow guys, I've never made an unsafe bet. This time I did. I might just be investing time in something that she can so easily destroy. I hope she wants me, because I want her. I hope she loves me, because I love her. She dove off the cliff, and I put one foot over the jagged edge... Then I jumped.
Thank you, because I use to be afraid of heights.


I'll see you at the bottom Sam, because you know i'd follow you no matter where you went.

How is everyone?
I haven't been here in a while.
Still alive.
New love.
Samanthalynn.
Life.

Yep thats about it.
I need a job.

Remember when I said I could do better?

Don't you hate when I'm right?